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As a wife and mom of three girls, who’s worked for many years in the mental health field as a psychotherapist, she has a unique perspective on how to kick the parenting guilt and negative self talk in order to feel confident and in control in life and business.

Her passion is to take mom entrepreneurs from the place of feeling doubtful of themselves and overwhelmed, to feeling calm, balanced and peaceful in their lives so that they can effectively parent, make great money without stress and still find time to take care of themselves.

Jennifer, What is SELF-LOVE?

Self love is where is all begins. I was never taught this and it is still a struggle at times but mindset work helps me immensely. Celebrating my wins and practicing gratitude has helped me when I have struggled with negative thoughts about myself. This is an ongoing journey for me.

 

 

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www.jenniferjakobsenlifecoaching.com

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FULL TRANSCRIPTION

So welcome to the podcast. Jennifer. Thank you so much for having me, Jennifer. I love it.
Right. I’m like Jennifer Jacobson and Jennifer Jacobson here today. Jennifer Jacobs squared. Yeah. Love it. So I want to start with my my most recent favorite question, which is, in this moment right now, what is the thing that’s firing you up the most?
Oh, that is an awesome question. Um, oh, my god. Well, okay, I’ll tell you my selfish version. And then I’ll tell you my more life coaching version. Um, I yeah, so I’m just really fired up by being around my kids and my husband lately. We celebrated father’s day yesterday. And one of his gifts was we’re doing a staycation this weekend in town. And it’s going to be all of us. And I’m just super excited because my kids now are getting older. And they’re at that phase where they’re kind of more into their friends than they’re into us. And so I’m excited for us all to be like, together at a staycation, just having fun, all of us, you know, in a really pretty setting, and it’ll be really nice. So that’s what’s firing me up, personally. And then I would say, What’s firing me up business wise, is I? Well, I just, I just finished my 12 weeks with one of my clients. And I’m just super excited because she has made so much progress. And it’s just, it’s so gratifying to see like, somebody when they start out in a certain place. And then like, they work with you. And then 12 weeks later, like, they’re kind of almost even using some of your lingo. They’re like, and just knowing that I’ve made a difference, and that woman has made such a difference in her own life. And she’s putting herself first and she’s, you know, getting rid of the mom guilt. And she’s focusing on her and what lights her up, if that just really lights me up. So thing people like thing, women, especially moms, really just allow themselves to pour into themselves and really give themselves that gift and acknowledge how far they’ve come as is really gratifying. So that’s Yeah, so that’s my life. coachee answer.
So I know for life coaches, and people that get excited and light up by helping others, you have to have a story. So what was the story that got you to wanting to be a life coach and helping moms in this way? Gosh, you
know, it’s funny, because I always like doubt myself when I tell my story, because I’m like, your story’s not really that exciting, because honestly, I kind of have always been on the same path. It. It’s not like a lot of people who have gone off on these random tangents, and then found their way back I honestly, since I was in high school, I have wanted to help women, it’s just it’s part of my makeup. I don’t know what what it is. It’s just in my genetics or something. But yeah, I’ve just wanted to help women. But I started out in psychology, I was a psychology major in college. And then I went into clinical social work and got my master’s in clinical social work. So I was actually doing psychotherapy, which was amazing. And that was kind of always my dream job. Until I discovered life coaching because life coaching wasn’t really a thing when I was in college like it, I don’t think it really been discovered yet or wasn’t popular yet. And so when I discovered coaching, I was like, This is so cool, because the difference between therapy and coaching is really just the direction you’re heading. So in psychotherapy, you really focus on your client’s past and what they’ve gone through. And a lot of times, it’s trauma based, it’s a lot of like stories from their childhood that they’re kind of revisiting. And then, you know, hopefully they get to the point where they’re, they’re feeling healed, and they’re able to kind of move on in their life. And that was the time that I would stop working with them because the insurance wouldn’t pay for it anymore. What I was just like a therapist, like, okay, they’re healed, they’re cured. Not that they’re actually cured. But you know what I mean, they’re, they’re doing so much better. So then the therapy would stop and I’m like, but I want to see what happens next. I want to know, like, the amazing things these people can achieve now that they’re feeling much better and moving on with their lives. And so when I figured out that coaching was taking you from instead of where you are now back into your past, they take coaching takes you from where you are now into your future and where you are now to where you truly want to be. And so it’s more future focused. It’s more empowering. It’s more exciting for me and plus I also had three kids and became a stay at home mom for a long time. And with all the drama that was happening, having three girls, I was like, oh, gosh, it’s gonna take a lot of emotional work for me to go back to doing therapy. Because, you know, it’s, you hear some hard stories. And I think therapy is so very necessary and needed. But for me, I was kind of like, I want to really help people move forward and really see the results of the hard work that they’re putting in, in a different kind of way. And so it’s just been so gratifying for me to, to do that. And I’m really so thankful because it’s truly a job where I can work from home 100% I mean, even before, you know, a lot of people are now working from home anyway. But before that, I was able to work from home, set my own schedule. And so selfishly, it was very nice to be able to do all of that. Whereas therapy, there’s a lot of other restrictions. You know, you can’t see clients outside of the state that you’re licensed in. And as a coach, I can impact people all over the world. So it’s much more. Yeah, so my client base is much more broad. Now I can really, you know, help people from all over the place. I mean, pretty much just in the us right now, I haven’t taken on any clients overseas, but mainly because time zones get too confusing. But yeah, it’s really fun, just being able to impact people like all over the place and talk to people from different, you know, different areas of the country and know what things are, like there. And so it’s been it’s, it’s, I’m just very, very fortunate, I’m super loving this job. And, yeah, I would do it, I’ll probably do it forever. So
I love that. And I love that you saw like, there was a need for that beyond therapy point that you weren’t able to give. And you found a way to make that happen. That is so powerful in itself.
Thank you. Yeah, I really, really love it. And it’s, um, you know, social work and therapy, the burnout rates really high when you’re when you’re really dealing with a lot of really hard stuff, right. And when I meet with my clients, I mean, yes, definitely, there’s some hard stuff that comes up. But I think both myself and my clients feel really empowered and really, you know, really excited after the sessions. And it’s really just so nice to know that you can just, you know, sit with somebody, and a lot of times, it’s just really like, knowing that you’re not alone, letting people know, like, you can tell me anything I am, you know, my job is to be here for you and help you in any way that I can. But really, the work is in the client. And so it’s really cool to see them, you know, just really growing and, and achieving so many amazing things in their lives. So yeah, I love it.
That’s so awesome. So is there something that you specialize within your packet inside your your coaching program?
Yeah, yeah, I um, so I’ve definitely struggled with finding my niche. Um, it’s been a while. And I’ve always been super passionate about moms, and specifically now, that particular types of moms I work with are mom entrepreneurs, so women, moms, especially I work with people who aren’t moms too, but primarily moms who have their own business and are trying to find that balance between work life, home life, and, you know, kind of dealing with all the overwhelm and guilts because let’s face it, moms, it’s kind of like the hardest job on the planet, and then you put them having a business on top of it. And so these moms are, you know, sometimes on the verge of burnout, they’re really just, it’s a lot on their plate. And so I help them to kind of take some of those things off their plate in a way that feels good. And so they don’t feel guilty. I help a lot of women with moms with their confidence, because a lot of times, and I know you’ve talked on your on your podcast, too, about imposter syndrome. And sometimes that can be a really tough thing. Because when you are a mom for a long time, and then you go into business, you feel like, well, who am I? I’m just I’m just a mom, like I you know, especially if you’ve been a stay at home mom for a while and then you go back to working again. It’s hard because you you feel like oh gosh, well, I’ve been out of the workforce for so long. I don’t really know if I have got what it takes. What do I really know about this? You know, so a lot of times it’s helping moms get their confidence back again and just really pouring into themselves because they’ve spent so long just pouring into their families and giving every ounce of energy they have to their children and so it’s hard to As mompreneurs, it’s really hard to focus again on us and put ourselves at the top of our to do list. But when we’re able to do that, it actually overflows into everybody else. So that’s, that’s the hard thing. Because it’s, it’s hard to know that when you’re in the midst of it, it’s hard to know that Actually, no, if you focus on you, do you fill up your cup, you’re gonna have so much more to give everybody else including their clients, including their, you know, their family, their relationships, all of it. So.
And that’s something like, I know, personally, I’m not a mom, but I know personally, I even struggle with this, like, Oh, yeah, yeah, you got to just, you got to give yourself a little love to where there’s nothing left. So if somebody is on that verge of just being totally burnt out, ready to just be like, Okay, I’m throwing in the towel. I’m just gonna be the mom, I’m just gonna be the stay at home. Mom, I can’t do this. Like, what’s that first, like that first little mini step that they need to take to start maybe shifting out of that overwhelm?
Yeah, well, what I like to focus on first with my clients. So before I even say this, I would say, you know, they really do need to focus on self care. And I think that’s the obvious answer. But it’s like, we hear that word, self care, and we’re just Oh, yeah, you know, that means you got to like, go get a massage, or get a pedicure, or whatever. And, to me, that’s not self care at all. To me, self care is something that you do every day just for you. So whatever that might be. I think for a lot of women, it’s exercise, because really, an exercise is so incredibly important, not for the vanity reason, but because it actually helps us to feel good about ourselves, it helps with depression, it helps with stress. So that can be like something that people do on a daily basis, meditation, whatever it might be, for that particular person, if they’re on the verge of burnout, that would be the first thing I would say they need to focus on is just really, and maybe they do need to take a step back, maybe they need to take a step back, and, you know, just be with their family for a while. And that’s totally fine, you know, the business will still be there. And the other thing I was gonna say is that when I start to work with with my clients, the first thing that I really like to key into is their vision of what they truly want. Because I think sometimes women and moms especially like, we have this vision of have what we want to do with our businesses, what if we want our lives to look like and then we fall into this hustle, right? We fall into this, like, let’s just work ourselves to the bone, let’s work all day and all night to get to that point. And then you’re like, but what’s it all for? Like? Was your vision really to be exhausted? And feel like crap all the time? Or was your vision to actually have this incredible business and incredible family life? You know, all of it, and now you’re on the verge of burnout? So I would say go back to that vision, what is it really that you want? You know, do you really want to be hustling 24 hours a day, you know, because that’s not really what any of us want. So I think it’s important to key back into that and realize that, the more fun you’re having with it, too. And I know you’re all about, you know, having a good time and enjoying Yeah, for me, like if, if we can just tap into the things that we love, and do the things that feel good, you know, in the moment, like, just check in with ourselves on a daily basis and say, Okay, what do I need right now. And if you don’t feel like posting on social media, and you just want to go for a walk with your kids or with your dog, or whatever the case might be, then do that. Because guess what, you’re going to come back. And without even meaning to, you’re actually going to come back and you’re going to have these great ideas for social posts, you’re going to be like, Oh my god, I feel super inspired right now. And I want to share with my audience, but if you’re fighting against, you know, yourself and you’re not taking care of yourself, you’re going to be depleted, and it’s going to come across to your clients to I really, it’s going to come across to everybody it’s going to come across to your family, your friends, your clients. So if you really just can tune into what you need at the moment and really honor yourself, you know, take care of yourself first, it’s going to be so much easier, and all the other all the other areas of your life. So
I love that point that you’re like if you want to go walk the dog or walk with your kids go do it. Because that’s such a great reset to be like, okay, you can take a minute away, you can walk away. I for the first time in four years. Last week, I actually took an entire week off didn’t pack my laptop for the first time in four years. And I came back and I’m like, Whoa, so much clarity. Again. So it’s it’s nice. It’s a great reminder that it can’t it doesn’t have to be a week. It can be a lock.
Yeah. I love that that’s a good quote, we’re gonna, we’re gonna have to quote, it doesn’t have to be a week, it can be a walk. It doesn’t have to be this amazing spa day, it just has to be whatever you need at that moment. And sometimes we have no idea what we need. So just kind of like, you know, taking a deep breath and like, what do I really need right now? What would feel really good for me right now, and go do that thing. You know, it’s, it’s fine. I mean, I’m not advocating like never working. And you know, you’re never going to grow a business if you’re always just laying on the couch, you know, eating ice cream and watching Netflix. But, you know, if you allow yourself that for a little period of time, you’re going to come back and you’re going to have a lot more to give. So
Oh, I love that got to refill. Yeah, and focus on the things that are fun and exciting. So you mentioned working with clients, where can people find you? And can you tell us a little bit more about like your programs?
Yeah, absolutely. Um, so my website is Jennifer Jacobson life coaching.com. And my name different from yours is spelled with a K. So it’s j k, ob sc. And so Jennifer Jacobsen life coaching Comm. I’m also on Instagram, at J. Jacobson life coach, and I think I’m on Facebook as Jennifer Jacobson life coaching or something I don’t even know. You can find me just you know, spelt with a keen eye to see. And then my programs aren’t Yeah, right now I’m offering, um, I have both individual coaching as well as group coaching. So just depending on whatever seems to work best, some people love groups and connecting to other women. And some people are like, No, I just want to talk to you. That’s it. So I offer both of those. So really, the best way to figure out, you know, which is the right program for you is just to schedule a quick call with me. So I always do a free 30 minutes. I call it like a brainstorm call, we’ll we’ll just kind of brainstorm what you know, what’s going to work best for my prospective client? What seems to be the best fit for them, see if we’re a good good fit, and kind of go from there.
I think that that’s, that’s amazing that you have both because there is power in both. There’s power in that one on one. And there’s power in the group. You said something earlier about, like sharing your stories. And I know that I had a lady on the podcast A while ago that was like, yeah, your story is someone else’s life preserver. And it’s so cool. Like, that just resonates with me. And what you said was like, right in line with that of like, Yeah, sometimes just sharing, like you said in the beginning, like, my story, isn’t that you know, special, but it really is. Because I’ve talked to people who have had, like, are like, My story is not good enough. And it’s like, no, it’s your story. Your stories are always good enough, like what you have is always enough. It’s, you know, and it’s nice to hear everybody’s stories, because it doesn’t have to be stemmed from some major traumatic event in your life. And you became a life coach, like, I comes from all areas, I think that it’s beautiful that you’re able to, like, really talk to people and see like, what their specific needs are, because we’re all so unique.
Yes, absolutely. And that is, yeah, that’s kind of the philosophy I operate on is really like, starting with the where the clients is, like, I don’t have, you know, I might have an outline for my programs, but I don’t, I don’t actually just keep people I don’t tell people what to do. You know, life coaching is not advice giving. And a lot of people think that’s what it is. And a lot of people come to me and they want advice. And I’m not going to give them advice because really what works for me might not work for them. So it’s really figuring out what works for each individual situation, each individual person, their personality. And, you know, a lot of the work that I do is around mindset. So it’s mindset coaching. So it’s really looking at the thoughts that each person is having and how those thoughts are serving them or not serving them and how we might need to change around those thoughts. And it’s incredible when you talk about thoughts because we often have our thoughts so automatically that we don’t even know what they are. And I I had my own coaching session with my coach and I didn’t realize that I was having so many should thoughts and said that’s a really bad I would say don’t should on yourself, right? So I didn’t even realize it. I was like oh my gosh, I’m a life coach. And I have like all these beliefs that I should do this and I should do that. And so it really took me you know, having someone else to talk to and open up to myself to really realize how you know how harmful those thoughts were for myself. So yeah, it’s it’s a super exciting, enlightening process to have that like even that first free session like you’ll just be like Oh yeah, I might actually benefit from some of this stuff but you know the that first session with me there’s no you know, nothing in stone, it’s just a get to know you kind of session and see if I can help you. And if I can great if not, no worries about that either. I just want to, you know, I want to serve where I can. And, you know, I’d love to help as many women as and as many moms as I can.
Yeah, I love that. And I love that you brought up the should the show it is just all it makes my heart stop every time I’m like, I catch myself in it so often actually had like what I have call us the think box. So every time I have some of those should conversations or those negative thoughts, I put it for safekeeping and my little think box, because then the box can take care of that. Should you focus on something? Yes. But I love that you are using another thing. You have a coach, you have a mentor, you have somebody who is helping you through this. And that’s, that’s one of the things that we often don’t talk about as coaches is that it is important for us to reach the next level and to move forward that finding someone to go on that journey with is so important.
Oh, yes, I will always have a coach. And it doesn’t matter how far I’ve come on my own journey and how great I think I’m doing you know, if I’m just feeling like, oh, I’ve got it all figured out? No, none of none of us have it all figured out. I mean, we might be doing really well. But we’re going to do even better if we have a coach on our sides. So I will I will always have a coach for sure. I there’s been times where I’ve had like three or four coaches at once. So that sounds overwhelming. Yeah, well, really not. Because for different needs, you know, though a business coach, a life coach, you know, so it’s, it’s really just for all the different things we’re trying to improve on. And, and really, you know, maybe a lot of us could do that on our own, you know, but if you work with a coach, it’s gonna be easier. It’s gonna be faster, and it’s gonna be definitely a lot more fun.
Oh, yeah. Fun and fast. Sign me up. Definitely. I want to like leave this interview. I’m so excited talking to you. What? Well, yeah, you know, here’s me losing my words. Because Yeah, that’s just how it is. So what I did is kind of like, and we I’ll make sure to have all your information in the show notes. If somebody walked away with just one little like, Mic drop gold nugget, what would you want it to be?
Oh, gosh, no pressure there. No pressure that. Goldman? Dang. I don’t know if I have any golden nuggets. Um, let’s see. I feel like I’ve already said it. I’m just in like, really just putting yourself on your to do list. I don’t know, if there’s so much of what I talk about that I feel like people might already know. But it’s like the reminder, you know, so, um, the only Yeah, the other thing I would say, and I kind of mentioned this, too, is is just
really try to be aware of what’s going on with you. Because I think so much.
I don’t know, I think we live in this culture where it’s like so glamorized to be always hustling and always working. And the harder we work, the more money we’re gonna make, and the more successful we’re going to be. And I would say, like, really, like, get in touch with where you’re truly at, like, you know, because we always get asked that question, oh, how are you doing? Oh, I’m fine. I’m good. Yeah. Are you really? Are you really fine, I’m good. I would say really,
just
take a moment whenever you can, to just check in with yourself and ask yourself, How am I really doing today? And if your answer is anything other than fabulous, then figure out what’s going on and figure out what maybe some of those thoughts are maybe those shoulds that you’re, you know, maybe you’re shutting on yourself too much. Because, really, we all have one life. And I would say like, try to make the most of every day, every moment because it’s not just for you. It’s because everyone around you feels your energy. And if you’re not taking care of yourself, and I’m not just talking about the spa, really taking care of yourself every day, physically, emotionally, all of it Take care of yourself because especially for moms, like our kids deserve that they deserve for their parents to be happy. And I didn’t have that as a child. And so that is the gift I want to give my children I don’t want them to ever have to worry about me. And so I’m always checking in with myself. And I’m not always great. I’m definitely not always great, but I’m always working on getting better.
I love that. You’re not always great. You’re always working on getting better. That’s Yeah, absolutely amazing to me. I want to thank you so much for being here today. And I again, I’ll make sure to get all of your information in and I look forward to connecting with you in the future.
Absolutely. Thanks so much for having me. It’s been so much fun.