Art Soul Living with Lisa Kindle

 

 

00:00

Welcome to the podcast, Lisa.

 

00:01

Hey, nice to be here.

 

00:03

I am really excited. We just met a few days ago, which is really cool. And that’s the power of podcasting. But I want to know a little bit of your story, you have this beautiful journey of finding love, self love, love for yourself, you share a little bit of that with us.

 

00:20

Well,

 

00:23

we met because we have the art and healing aspect in common, right. Um, my journey started a long, long time ago, passionately as an artist, I’ve always loved to draw. I mean, my earliest memories are sitting on the porch at my grandma’s house, with the, you know, old three ring binders and notebooks that my dad had left from college and I take the Sears catalogs and be clipping out things that I like and create collages and make my own magazine. So I’ve always had a dream to, you know, design things to be creative. And as I went through college, I became a graphic designer. I work commercially as a designer in the corporate world. And about 10 years in, I decided to go out on my own, my daughter was about three, and I started my own business. And I ran that graphic design studio from 2006 till 2018. And at that time, we had something happen in the family. And that was after going through a divorce, or wait two divorces. So there you see my self love journey, I was having some issues, figuring out my boundaries, what I wanted, and what I would accept and raising my child on my own and just navigating all that. And all the way along, I did some side hustles even when I was working work multiple jobs. And then when I became more devoted to my business, and I raised her running my graphic design business, so I supported us doing that a lot. And so once while I have a contract go on site, but mostly it was my independent clients that kept food on the table and a roof over our heads. But when we went through sort of a health crisis with my daughter, who was turning 20, next week, I said, You know what, I need to do more. I always had a passion to help women. Going through depression, I went through postpartum depression. Obviously, two failed marriages. Melton mental health issues are a big part of that. And during that the one common thread for me was doing my art. And a lot of times during that time, all those years from 2006 through 2018, I did it to put bread and butter, and a roof over our heads. It was very motivated by pleasing others, but I always had art as an outlet. I also was a musician trained as a cellist. And so music and art and the arts are a part of my soul. Like that’s where I go to recover and process my feelings. And now fast forward to 2019. I’m in a loving, caring relationship and a new marriage, my daughter’s thriving. And I’m able to fully work as an artist and pivot into now helping women find recovery and peace and healing, and provide resources and hopefully, you know, in my own podcast, you know, and the things I did in the last year, opening the global art cafe had interviews with women who’ve written books, offering advice, and just being a resource. I don’t have all the answers but I’ve been there I’ve survived two divorces, all the things in between, we all have family stuff, raising a child have my own business going through bankruptcy. So yeah, there was a journey and and the biggest part of that journey always and I’m finding it more and more as I’m able now to focus on it and really be there for women in a way I’ve never been able to is when you listen to the stories, we all have a place that we get stuck. And I find taking the time to create release as you you know, just like when you get into a TV show and you can’t stop watching it like on Netflix you like binge watch because you just can’t stop. Well, if you get an or you’re playing a musical instrument. You start playing and you get in the flow and everything just drifts away. You don’t you don’t remember, you couldn’t pay that bill or you know your daughter or son has been bugging you all day but they’re finally sleeping. This is your moment. You get to be in this moment and relax and find some peace. And so I’ve been busy creating things over the past year for my community, the creative community, the global our community. And now for women specifically to take that time if they can. My challenge is, you know, have creative wellness as a priority. And I think over the past year, we all learned how important that was. Right?

 

05:09

Oh, yeah. Right. Oh, yeah. Whoa.

 

05:11

And I think it was hard before that, like, we didn’t have a stop we didn’t have. And now it’s been hard stop. What are you doing with your time. And so it just happened to coordinate and line up with where my life was that and I love that, you know, there is perfect timing. Faith was another part, you know, my spirituality journey. I’m always believing that there’s a purpose for timing and the divine timing of things to occur, like meeting you. Like, it’s been fabulous. Like, this is my very first podcast interview, and I see a lot in my future. And I’m super excited to work with you more and grow my vision, because it’s all about constantly being aware of where we are in life, and acknowledging mistakes, but also successes and then helping other women in for me to rise. And I’ve helped men too, and my coaching already. So they’re not, you know, not ruling that out because I want to help everyone really, because it what I’ve been through, I can help people not hopefully not experienced extreme pain by listening and guiding gently in a safe space. So that’s a little bit about my story. So now I’m just in this place where I, basically I have manifested the perfect relationship, I’m debt free, I’m living my dream. And I have you know, you always have dreams, you’re always growing and changing like Now, the next thing that I’m going to manifest is living remotely, where there are palm trees and warm, more warm sunshine, and travel to my global art cafe people and live a fantastic life once this COVID stuff is all completely cleared. I’ve got invitations to Luxembourg, Romania, India, because of what I did last year, and it’s super exciting. I want to embrace that life. And I want to just tell these women, especially going through divorce, and bankruptcy and financial problems and being stuck in jobs that, hey, if I can do it, come on, you can do it, I want to help you, I want to help them do that. Even if it’s a baby step, because one of the things that I’ve been saying lately a lot, and I believe it is it’s in the micro transformations, micro microscopic, littlest changes. That’s where I got there. I mean, it took me 10 years to get through my debt 10 or more years to find a partner that truly appreciates me and supports me and is a actual partner in my life. Both of business, he’s been helping me get projects done right now, because he’s had the time. You know, that didn’t just happen. Those are conscious choices all the way along to make positive change in your life and saying no, to certain things, having boundaries, knowing, being knowing and being aware of like, why these happens, what limiting belief was I carrying for it? What was my money story talking about, you know, a limiting belief I’ve had, that’s probably my biggest one. Let me just say, What’s your biggest limiting belief?

 

08:22

You know, my, definitely my money story that money makes you eat? Oh,

 

08:27

yeah. Yeah. So let’s talk about that more. That’s a big one, right. And, you know, everyone’s is different. But we’re all at the end of the day, we are the same, essentially. And we want to be loved. We want to be happy, and we want to be comfortable. And that comfort. Money doesn’t provide comfort, but it provides freedom. And sometimes it’s not having a lot of it. In my opinion. There’s a lot you can do, even in the hardest times, and we always have challenges like I’ve manifested the perfect life right now, when we moved into this townhome in 2019. And we weren’t married yet. And I said, No, I don’t really want to be a snob about this. But I’ve lived on the lake now for four years and I really want to be Lake access. And so we did our thing and we prayed and we put it to the universe, guess what? We live 400 feet from the lake with deeded access. You can say what you want about that, but all of these things. It was you know, from 2012 to well, it started in 2008 then it was 2012 secondary agenda. And from all that time was a battle and all the way along I was believing in something better. And I kept putting it out there you know so the vision boards the affirmation cards the the process the the working hard, the working multiple jobs, you know, all the things. They happen because I didn’t give up I persevered. Perseverance is a word people will tell you defines me at least getting to this point. Now I like to think it’s a little bit, that seems a little negative, but it is positive in the sense that don’t ever give up. Because there is a reason you’re going through what you’re going through at the time. And there’s a lesson and, you know, I don’t want I have enough character already. Seriously, I don’t need another lesson. But really, we’re always growing. And if you’re open to that, and you can you accept the idea that a coach can help you or maybe as a therapist, depends what level issue you’re at, you know, being able to guide someone to a happier, you know, and more fulfilling life is really, really what makes me happy that I can can help people not feel you know, I asked a question recently on Facebook, you know, where do you put your life right now? What satisfaction level, you know, from one to 10? And, you know, some people like one person I know, he said, I’m a 12. I’m like, right? Like, let’s be a 12, or a 20, or 10,000, or there’s the lesson, I put a number on it approach. I like those positive approaches. But if somebody says, five or less, I want to know, like, what is it that I could do to help you? And that’s where I’m coming from right now. That’s my story.

 

11:23

So there’s, there’s so many questions I have. There’s the awareness piece, there’s the creativity piece, there’s operating all the side hustles. I think that based on on who our listeners are, is that when you’re getting in these moments of like, building moving to that next level, how are you using art to help you stay in that creative flow, instead of that really strict structured like burnout zone?

 

11:49

Well, the biggest change from where I was hustling, I mean, I am a power networker, and a connector of people. And so like I said, I worked for 15 years, keeping a roof over our head and paying all the bills doing graphic design. But now I can use these new art activities, to feel me. And those exercises that I’ve made. I know I have helped other women make change in their life. over the span of this last year. Like I said, the global art Cafe is an online group we meet every week on Fridays, over zoom that throughout the pandemic, and there are women that come back every week, every single week, because they are growing in some way there’s something that they need from that, and are a big part of our conversation is, is you know, how are you doing? What are you working on? How can we help each other? And you know, I give them challenges to draw or how you do things like you’ve been doing with, you know, close your eyes and draw or let’s do a mon dolla or what our signature question is, if you were color today, what color would you be? Which seems innocent enough? But pretty soon we’re talking about, oh, I’m feeling really angry today. Or my cup. They say I’m feeling really blue. Well, why are you feeling blue? Or somebody one one week we had something happen, what were someone in said, red, or they said they were blue. Okay, so it started with the first person was blue. And then the other person was compassionate and said, I’m going to be red, because I want to make you feel better. And we’ll be purple together. And that’s really the heart of my mission that we come together as women, and we blend our colors together to make them better. I’m doing doodling one of the things, you know, if whatever, if you show up like one of these drawings I recently did. This is an interpretation of one of my best friends just recently went through a double mastectomy. And we had a conversation very recently about her healing process. And this is a depiction of that process. And so this is this is my work. But I like to work with other people to explore how can they express what they’re feeling. And when you express how you’re feeling through your you can put it down here without thinking of words, you can put the color down, and then you start adding detail and then you start feeling the emotion of it. I don’t know if you can tell what any of this what it says to you. But this morning, I messaged her and I said, will you write something from my interpretation of your healing journey? And those are ways art can play a part in the process? Well, I interpret it a certain way. I’m very careful to say if somebody else creates something that only that person can insure for what it says to them. And that process I feel is healing is allowing people a space to create things that tell a story like we we recently had a full circle moment yesterday in the global art cafe where we talked about power names. One of the And one of our members, her power name is Omni flower. And she had done a soul card with an image. And she had a lion. And there were flowers in the voice, you know, she’s timid, but she’s inside, she’s lying. And it goes into this flower pattern and her name being on the floor. And then yesterday, you know, we asked the question, your color day, what would you be, and she’s like spring flowers. And then I read a quote that was all about flowers, and art, and the visual all comes together. And so today, I’m working on a floral pattern, because I’m inspired by these conversations, and it is healing you, you are able to put together like memories from childhood and memories from growing up, and what did that say to you and like deciding what is going to define you as you grow. And so these all these activities I’m working with these women with, they are growing in some way. And I see happier spirits and smiles and aha moments that that’s what I live for. So it’s been really fun to give them things to process their growth, that’s through art, and not just like this in the face talking like you need to do this. That’s, you know, it’s just so hard. The organic growth is so much more fulfilling. You know, don’t put any limits on it, and don’t judge yourself. I hear I heard that from somebody else this morning. I was talking to him. That’s what I love about this is people feel safe to talk to me and share their art. And they’re like, I said, Why haven’t you shown anything lately? Well, I don’t know if people really like what I’m doing.

 

16:47

You know what the thing is, at least what I’m doing is you don’t have to be an artist to get benefits. You can improve your memory, you can improve your health, you live longer, all these things. People don’t realize that that creativity, it opens up new doors. Like my husband is a perfect example. When we met like, four years ago or more, he wouldn’t. No, no create creativity. No, no, I don’t do that. No, not for me. Not gonna happen. Well, I sometimes think that he’s spending more time crafting and being creative than I am. Because I’m busy doing my business. Like now he’s in a woodburning. And he’s created this amazing box, what burning is this whole thing is awesome. Like, it’s awesome to see like, that was in there the whole entire time. But because of what he’d been told by somebody influential in his life, he chose to not pursue it. And we wouldn’t, we wouldn’t be here like it. It’s not just that it’s like everything that it opens the door to always bringing to me. So I’ll show the people that can see that. And you can’t hear but this is a wooden box. That’s car woodburned. And then and he got super like all of this, he drew it.

 

18:05

He’s he

 

18:06

you know, and said, Oh, I can’t do anything like that. But now not only the box, but then it’s it’s the the process and then what you put inside, what dreams are we going to manifest that’s going to go inside this box. So the art is a portal to your dreams and manifesting what you want and always being open and finding out like, Hey, I can do things I didn’t think I could do.

 

18:32

And I think you just brought up a really important point that I want to make sure that nobody misses is that you don’t have to go into art thinking you’re creative. You can think that you can’t draw a stick figure and still create something and move through trauma with art.

 

18:49

Yeah, you don’t have to be, you know, an art major in college to get a benefit out of this.

 

18:53

I

 

18:54

mean, intuitive art is is a place that I’m exploring a lot too. And I I will be interviewing another woman I met coming up in June, she’s going to come on to my one of the art global art cafe events, and talk about how healing helped her in her healing process in her journey and her relationships. Because you’re you’re able to turn off the brain and let your emotions come out on the canvas. And that doesn’t mean you have some high skill and paint like Rembrandt. But it means something to you. What you’re putting down has meaning to you. And that’s really all that matters. So it doesn’t matter about skill is relative, and it doesn’t matter for the healing process. Right.

 

19:37

I completely agree. I teach people to paint with their eyes closed. So right.

 

19:42

And that’s not always pretty.

 

19:45

But I and I just I want to keep saying like there is so much power in art and I’m so excited that we connected through our and through, you know, the world of being connected on the internet. And I think that was one of the points you brought up earlier that I wanted to kind of come back and touch on of this, we had to take a worldwide pass, we had to go inward, we had to find things. And the creativity that came out of last year is phenomenal. Because we slowed down and became aware.

 

20:14

Mm hmm. I know, there’s so many more people, you know, living in this space, and I kind of part of me is like, could they just go back to work? But no, seriously, a little, you know, but mostly, it’s, it’s nice that people have slowed down seriously. And I did that a long time ago, I made the choice to stay home with my daughter, even though I went through divorce not once, but twice, and always supported myself with my own business. Not everyone is that fortunate, I understand that. But it wasn’t about being fortunate, trust me, it was a lot of hard work. But that’s the whole thing. It’s a choice, either do it or you’re doing it’s not about the money. It’s about your values and where you’re working from. And I’ve been doing that a long time. So this COVID and the quarantine, I’ve been doing this for years. But the awareness, I mean, I feel the shift. And these people that haven’t gone through all the work that I’ve been through to live in this way and choose to live my values, where they’re working every day, and they feel they have to because that’s what they know, you know, you do what you know, you know what, you know, and that’s what you do. I chose to do something else, I could never pretty hard to go back to the other way of living.

 

21:38

Right? Right.

 

21:40

You just do it, whether whether you’re making five bucks a week, or 2000 bucks a week, or 10,000 a month or 1000 months, but it’s not the money, it’s the lifestyle. And these people are forced back into their homes. And now they’re like, go my kids or my husband’s here. What, you know, we got to learn how we can take the puzzles on the board games with How many years has it been since people actually played board games and put puzzles together? You know, and all of a sudden, our classes are booming online, you know, because as moms want their kids to be doing it, why weren’t we doing that before? It’s like we’re it’s all you know, history repeats itself, full circle. These are healing practices, to have family time to have people at the dinner table, and do our create together, go outside, turn on the TV, all of it. So I’m more than happy to be able to be a resource and supportive to people that need help navigating what that looks like, and the hard part as a mom, I mean, I did. That was always the case is like not feeling guilty. Just take that time, like self care, we hear that we heard the word essential so much last year, right? It like to the point you just want to bang your head on the wall. But I would I would challenge people to say, having art and doing art. And being creative is essential. And it really is painful for me to see friends of mine because I also as I said, I was a musician and there are people teaching music out there. And music programs where I live are being cut all the time music teachers, and and it’s just it really hurts me to see that because those people live the passion just like we do. And now they’re what’s happening. What do we really value in our society? Because these are things that feed the soul. And not only do they feed the soul, let’s not just get woohoo about it. It’s it’s about your brain and your health. Music and Art. I mean, yo yo ma is one of the most brilliant cellist there is out there. He has a biology degree.

 

23:59

You know,

 

24:03

it’s important to education and being fully rounded people and, and your passions come in multiple places in the arts is just a way to be such a rich, vibrant person. Get like, Yo yo Ma, he has that education and a lot of other musicians too are, you know, there’s people in it. And they’re in bands because they’re they have that music, musical passion. And so they’ll do it while they’re working. But they’re working it all day, but they need music as an outlet. We need those outlets. We need the beautiful expressions. I can’t imagine like not being able to listen to beautiful music or whatever music you listen to what in that case, or having art museums. Now you don’t have to make the art to enjoy it. It’s important, I think it’s important in the fact that people are realizing that, you know, you know coloring sheets are off the charts. Now. You know people are loving that because they realize it’s real Relaxing, it reduces their stress. And I’m like, Yeah, hello.

 

25:07

So

 

25:08

I love that. And like in our neighborhood, we have this whole Facebook group that’s about rocks, painted rocks, okay, yeah. But he’s like hiding there painted rocks. It doesn’t matter what they look like, but it’s just been, it’s released that creativity. And you can see the people that are like, super, they’ve got some that are like, these are artists. And then you have the ones that are like, I’m letting out my creative expression, and rate to just find them because it brings joy, it brings this new level of happiness and joy and slow and freedom. And let’s start thinking outside the box of structure of society.

 

25:42

Yes.

 

25:44

Yeah, we just found a few that they were for a while there were a lot in the woods, because we have a little woods that go walk down to the lake. And, you know, for a while there, we did some to and we take them on our walks with like three or five miles, and we, you know, place them in different places. And it was fun to see when, when they were there. And then if they would disappear. And now just all of a sudden, there’s a whole bunch of new rocks. So it is fun to see people are taking that time to share and connect.

 

26:12

And speaking of connecting, where can people find you? I know that you mentioned a couple groups, but where are they? Okay, so you can

 

26:19

find them two places my heart soul living business, there is a website. So it’s www W dot art, soul living.com. And then on Facebook, of course, same name, art, soul living. And I have events posted on the Events tab there as well. My public Facebook group is the global art cafe, there is no monthly membership fee anymore. I just dropped that since I met you and going new directions. But there’s three events that happen every month, we have weekly meetings on zoom every Friday 10am Central. And then we have two monthly events. The first one is the first Tuesday of the month. If you want to talk business and learn more about different things like I’m hoping, Jen, you’re going to come and share one month. It’s the first Tuesday of the month at 11am for an hour and we talk about all different things. And we’ve had speakers talking on branding, we had one from Romania, one of our friends talking about email marketing last month, and we’ll be having an author coming soon. So that’s okay, weekly 10am Central global are cafe monthly first Tuesday. 11am is a business mastermind, the second Tuesday of the month is art together. And let me just say quickly, let’s give her a little plug. Coming up already on this Tuesday, we have the artist behind life of a paintbrush, fabulous polymer clay artist, she’s from Minneapolis area, and she’s doing amazing things and we’ll be getting a studio tour and talking with her live and maybe seeing her do a little creative time. And that’s to, to go back to 30 pm in the afternoon central time every second Tuesday of the month. And, you know, like I said, we have artists come and visit. And sometimes it’s just an intimate group where we come together and we create so any of those spaces are open to people to come and join. There is one other Facebook group called artful transformations. And that’s really a place for women to join and find support and all the things that we were talking about at the top of this interview.

 

28:29

And I’ll make sure to get all your information in the show notes also so that people can just easily find them and click

 

28:35

Yeah.

 

28:37

So I’d love to leave people with my favorite question my mic drop moment. If someone were to walk away with only one tidbit in 30 seconds or less, what would it be?

 

28:50

Oh,

 

28:51

I wasn’t ready for that. 30 seconds, I guess. 30 seconds I’d say make time for art and allow yourself the freedom without judgment to put something down on paper, preferably with color and just enjoy the moment and and feel how that feels.

So welcome, Radita, how are you today?

 

00:52

I’m doing great. I’m doing really good. Thank you. I am so excited to have you here. Because First off, we are sharing an amazing leadership circle. But I know that you just got finished with this retreat, and I need to know all the things just just spill the tea please.

 

01:11

Well, the question is more, where do you want to begin?

 

01:17

The question would be where do you want to start? How did you get into this retreat? First off?

 

01:22

Alright, so I am a, I’m teaching mindfulness. And

 

01:29

whenever I spoke, or asked a question about how to be a great mindfulness teacher, the same question always comes back to me. Not question but

 

01:45

indication and information is that you have to keep doing retreats, as many as you can, at least 110 day a year. And that’s the message that I have been receiving from Jon Kabat Zinn that I’ve had the honors to ask questions in person, one on one. And that was his his advice. And my mentor that I’m working with, in this teacher training to become a mindfulness meditation teacher, which is just an extension and to get a certification in what I’ve been doing for the past two years, and actually even longer than that. And so she was also saying, like, retreats, retreats, retreats. So when she said that, I went to look, and I looked up spirit rock, which is on the west coast. It’s meditation, mindfulness, space. So you seem to know about that. Yeah. And so I saw one that was perfect for this last week, because that nothing planned last week, besides one mentorship meeting that I have every two weeks, that I easily can move. And so that had to be it. So that’s why I signed up.

 

03:10

And tell us a little bit more about 30 day. No, it was five days, but it was five days of like, what kind of mindfulness? Well, so the title of it is insight meditation, the direct path to liberation.

 

03:29

And it’s based on insight meditation, and so therefore silent, it’s noble silence, retreat. And

 

03:41

usually they’re 10 days. And this one is five days, probably because of the workweek. And

 

03:49

you have a whole schedule, you begin in the morning, and it ends in the evening, and every hour is planned. You doing

 

04:00

silent meditation, like you’re on your own, but with the group, you’re doing, walking, meditation, or mindful walking, you have designated times when you eat.

 

04:13

You don’t write, you don’t read you. You don’t do anything but spend time with yourself.

 

04:21

I turned off my phone for five days, from the moment that it started till it was ending.

 

04:28

And I only like I’m I did it at home.

 

04:35

And so I have a six year old and a husband and they just had to deal with me not speaking much. I did speak in the morning because with a six year old, it’s tough to tell them like hey, I won’t be talking to you but you’ll be seeing me around.

 

04:54

So we did talk in the morning, but he knew that only limited times and at night at

 

05:00

would only say good night Goodbye, like, yeah, good before sleep time and would exchange a few words, but nothing crazy. And then that was pretty much my my days, I slept in a guestroom, I had this whole room to myself, I will close the door, I will be in there. And yeah, that was it. So what was that experience? Like? Just being silent with yourself?

 

05:30

I actually don’t mind them. I really loved that time. And I mean, I can laugh on my own, I don’t need to have anything to laugh about. It could be just me. I’m just sitting there all the sudden that have like, Whoa, moments, you know? And I’m like, Well, that was pretty darn good. Like, who could have come up with this? You know, so it’s like,

 

05:54

pretty funny like that. And, yeah, I don’t really have a problem. I actually noticed that. Now, like, I haven’t spoken much today. But the amount that I spoke today is already too much. Like before this call, even though I was on a phone with a friend, for maybe 90 minutes, we wouldn’t see each other, but my eyes were open the whole time. Like before this call, I had to like, go sit down and close my eyes for what amount of time because I just fell, my eyes were just so exhausted already. And so what I’ve learned is just that we’re using way too much talking like we’re talking way too much not saying anything. And it just teaches me that every day, I just have to limit the amount of words I use. And

 

06:45

especially when it comes to conflict for an incident that keeps coming to mind. It’s just that we don’t need to explain ourselves to the most details, and how we really felt like if we can really get into the essence of that conflict. It’s all said, If I can really sense of what I felt in that particular moment that it’s all said. And so it’s really interesting how

 

07:14

when you spend time on your own,

 

07:18

and you’re not really talking that you get all the answers, you don’t need outside sources to tell you what to think or what to say. Because in fact, I feel that is distracting us from what we actually know already. And we’re getting misguided from our core. Yeah.

 

07:44

That’s so interesting. That’s like the core of what you are teaching and what you’re sharing with the world is like going inward with self.

 

07:53

Yeah. And you know, it’s so interesting, because this particular retreat was so different, because it had nothing to do with me. Like, even though I just spent the time by myself, but all the thoughts that came up all the ideas, and the new things I wanted to focus on, was how we as humans function. So it wasn’t as much of my issues or my challenges or my struggles, or, you know, my friend was asking me about my thoughts. What what, you know, did you have thoughts or anything that you were, like, ruminating around? And I was like, No, actually, there were no much specific thoughts about something specific going on, you know, which is interesting, because it’s like, so is there nothing going on, you know, and it’s like, I guess, nothing that would matter so much in my life at that moment, to be ruminating about thinking.

 

08:57

That is, so to me, I’m like, my mind is like, like my job like my brain just shut off. Like, I don’t even know how to comprehend that, because I like not thinking and not constantly doing. But I bet like did it change how you felt physically in your body taking that time?

 

09:18

Oh, you’re touching exactly on that. Because what I came to realize we had to do walking meditations. And I should say mindful walking, because then it’s much more it makes more sense that way.

 

09:32

And, you know, it’s not the first time I’ve done it. But I think it’s the first time

 

09:39

that I had enough time to ask myself, what’s different with sitting meditation or mindful walking, and after the first full day on Tuesday, what was interesting is exactly what you just said is that I became

 

09:57

more aware on

 

10:00

What relationship I should have with my body. And instead of what we’ve been having with it. So what I said, we had the first Dharma talk at the end of the day, like every day, at the end of the day, we have an hour where they just talk about certain aspects.

 

10:18

And they were like, earlier in the day, we’ll, he was explaining about the mindful walking, how it works that you do one step after the other, and you just notice lifting off your foot and moving right. And then in the evening, Nisha, she was then again saying like, you know, he did it so gracefully. And I’m sure when you’re doing it, it’s not graceful at all, right? You’re like, it’s kind of mechanical, when you starting off doing this really like with new thinking, like, Alright, I’m lifting my foot. Okay, and what is it really going to do? Like, why is that important? And so I started ruminating, like thinking about it, like, ruminating, I don’t know, that’s like, seems to be maybe I should read Rumi, because I’ve been ruminating.

 

11:06

So what I started realizing that evening, when I was doing the dishes, because it’s all the same thing. We’re using our bodies, be it mindful walking, mindful, eating, mindful dishing, we’re doing this.

 

11:22

And

 

11:23

I got out of Dharma talk, I had to do dishes, I wanted to do dishes. And then I thought of tech, not Han, who always talks about doing dishes mindfully. And then, all of a sudden, like, I’m like, oh, mg, I just realized that, I’m starting to use my body, to use my body, not for the sake of using it to do something else. So let’s use the dishes as an example. Usually, we thinking of like, Oh, I’m holding the pop, and the cleaner to clean it. So the dish gets clean, our goal is to clean the dish.

 

12:05

But in fact, if we’re doing mindful dishing, I’m just gonna call it that.

 

12:11

It’s not about getting the dish clean. It’s about the interaction that we’re having while doing the dishes.

 

12:21

So I was thinking about, I’m using my arm, my elbow, in this manner, I’m using my fingers holding the pen. So I’ve had a different relationship to my body, I started to one appreciate my body, and to relate it to the actions that I’m doing, versus the outcome that my actions will be doing. That makes sense. Make sense to me? Okay, good. I think that that’s cool that you’re taking like, it actually, again, makes you slow down, get into your body. And I love that it takes you out of that moment of just seeking that goal, because that causes so much distress in our bodies.

 

13:08

Yeah, and you pointing exactly to it, because what we are doing all our lives is using our bodies solely for a vehicle to getting from A to B. And we’re missing out on the action between a B

 

13:27

in between the transition between a to b. And it really was such a new way of thinking and how to relate to it that I am not doing the things that I’m doing to do them. It’s to be present in each moment. And so this retreat has really been the most eye opening I’ve ever come maybe because I’m so much immersed in this, like, I am a mindfulness teacher kind of aspects like I really become more interested in understanding what this work really is about this teaching. It’s not about making seven, seven figures, right? Like, that can’t be my goal to be this profession. Like that’s just the can’t work because then I’m losing this already. Because I can’t. As a mindfulness teacher, I realized I can’t be thinking about the future. All I can do is thinking about them now. All I can think about is the conversation I’m having with you right now, how I’m feeling and not what this outcome will be completing this.

 

14:44

And so it really resets

 

14:48

our way of living, and we are becoming more aware for sure. But also, we appreciate our bodies for what it does, and not just

 

15:00

misusing it for the sake of using it? Because it’s available to us at no cost, right? And so we are spending so much more time putting our thoughts into something that we have to pay for something because we think he has more value. Because Yeah, I’m spending $10,000 on a car, or Well, okay, $10,000 car is very cheap, let’s say $100,000 for a car, right?

 

15:26

And yes, we’re getting an amazing car, it probably has amazing engineering in there. But the body is free. And what I’m doing with it is the question, because if I have something for free, do I then misuse it? Because it shows me less worth because there’s no dollar signs attached to it, when in fact, there is no, no tag we can ever attach to the body. Because once we’re gone, we’re gone. And so that whole idea of transition from getting from A to B, I just put it to a to z, from birth to death, and that life is a whole transition, and that we’re not comfortable being in the middle of this transition of breathing in breathing out.

 

16:12

Just doing the dishes, then what’s the point? Yeah,

 

16:17

my brain is like, it’s processing.

 

16:21

I am so intrigued by this, slowing down getting engaged being now not future thinking. Because, I mean, I’ve, I can’t honestly say when I’ve not been goal driven.

 

16:39

And that piece that you are talking about from being now allowing it to be and just honoring our vessel is that’s magical.

 

16:53

So magical. So how are you going to use this in your everyday life going forward so that you can stay within this balance of being inward? And now?

 

17:05

Well, one,

 

17:08

describing it to my friend, she’s like, well, that’s good for you. That’s amazing. I was like, well, it was just a one. Okay, so. But one thing I started doing is to turn off my phone, like, because I had it off for five days, I now have a different relationship to receiving information from the outside world, right? I now realize that there is so much information happening inside of me that I can, you know, dedicate less time to the outside world and more time to the inside world. Because that’s where as you said it, the magic happens. Because you can’t create what you’re creating if it wasn’t for you.

 

17:47

And he wouldn’t be you.

 

17:50

If it didn’t come from you. If it was somebody else making it doing it for you, right? Even if you put your tag on it and say like, Jen, Jennifer’s that’s our, but it didn’t come from you it has doesn’t have the same meaning to you, right.

 

18:07

So what I wanted to do is like use my phone on like, literally on not just on silent mode, not just on airplane mode, but totally off around seven, eight ish o’clock in the evening, and not turn it on until the next day, around 10:11am.

 

18:26

And so if there are anything important that I know that I have to do, like logging my son into school for COVID questions, I will be going into my internet through my computer, and I will solely do those two things, and then close it and then dedicate myself to whatever things that I want to dedicate to. I might be using my computer, but then again, you want to be more aware. When your thought comes up. It’s like Well, I’m already on the internet. Let me just check Facebook, you know, oh, let me just check, whatever to become more aware of noticing like, Okay, do I really need to check it? Okay, now Wait, okay, it’s 930. Now, an hour not gonna make a difference, right.

 

19:10

So that’s like the one big thing that I want to do to really

 

19:17

I don’t want to say control, but be more in control of the outside force. Because I know for myself, I don’t know about you, but for myself, when my phone is on, and I see it the tendencies to just check it just even for a one second. That turns into five minutes. And then let me check another thing is so tempting. And it’s so large

 

19:42

that it takes so much practice, but when it’s off to literally turn it on, will take much more effort to do that. So about my phone on silent, you can’t hear a single ring nothing. I barely have any notifications on for auto

 

20:00

No, maybe a year or two.

 

20:03

So that wasn’t really much. And still, I’m checking, you know, my social media on a rather regular basis. And the second I said, They’re so cool. I have nothing else to do, right? Let me just check Quick, quick. And instead, I want to just remind myself, if I can check that, I can also just sit here for a couple minutes, close my eyes, put an alarm on, or go outside, even for two minutes. Now.

 

20:32

Oh, I love that and just gave me so many ideas of like, removing socials from my phone. Because until you said that I didn’t realize it actually is effort to go on my computer, and go on social and consume, versus having something in my pocket where it’s, I we call it our leash in my house.

 

20:55

Like, oh, did you forget your leash, and it feels so good, like, so free to leave it behind. But I think that that’s really interesting that you have you made the same observation. And I just made it based on what you just said, because I didn’t even realize that I had thought like that in the past. But going online via your computer does kind of cut some of that cord.

 

21:20

And we can’t deny that that’s, you know, our habits and tendencies and or habitual tendencies to bring it together. It’s like, that’s just how we trained ourselves. And it’s that craving for connections, it’s that craving to being seen and heard and acknowledged, and all these amazing things. And again, if we can’t be acknowledging ourselves and being seen and heard by ourselves, then nobody else will see or hear us. Yes, I’m also posting things. And yes, I also want to have, you know, an impact on the outside world. Yes, of course. But it doesn’t have to be 24, seven on my watch, or my health or my body, right, because if I don’t do that, then nobody will do it. And somebody wants said,

 

22:08

that when you talk about emails and responding to emails, it’s you who determines the rules, right? If I always immediately, you know, respond to a message that I’ve been receiving that might not need to be responded right away, that can be waiting a day or two that has no effect. If I always immediately respond, a person will expect you to always respond, and they will be maybe even worried that you don’t. And so it’s us to slowly let them know that our selves know, it’s okay not to respond, we feel we need to respond because it would show we don’t care, or we would show it doesn’t matter, we don’t matter or they don’t matter, or we’re not enough, or they’re not enough, or whatever these thoughts that we’re having, right.

 

22:59

And all these thoughts that we’re having towards the outside is, as you probably know, a reflection of ourselves. So if we can’t put those boundaries, those you know, regulations or ways of how we’re interact with our outside world, or our immediate surroundings, then they will take advantage because they can, if they can’t, any more than they want. So it’s us who allows it to happen. And so by being more present and aware of what’s going on inside of us, we really are able to also demonstrate that for real, and other people, especially the people that we living with, will notice that and they will be like,

 

23:45

Why? Why are you not doing that anymore? Like that? That thing, whatever that thing is that you’re doing? Right? It’s like, why not doing that? Then you’d be like, Yeah, I don’t know. I don’t know, either, you know, and so you create a new pattern.

 

24:01

Because we’re changing, or the people will notice that they have to change or want to change or they appreciate your change or whatever that is, and it can only happen when we’re aware of something. So yeah.

 

24:15

That’s That’s such a great point. And it’s because we are teaching people how to treat us and how to interact with us. And that people pleasing and wanting to fit in and be cared for and all the things I was just I was having this conversation with somebody yesterday and it was like, Oh my goodness, that that’s it. That’s like the main thing is we from a young age want to fit in.

 

24:39

And we want to be you know, we fit into everyone else’s boxes, but we forget about our own fine little world.

 

24:47

Yeah, that’s really cool that this is the kinds of things that are coming up from being in that retreat.

 

24:54

Yeah, and we teaching ourselves what is most important to us, you know, because

 

25:00

If I always think that somebody else has the answers, and that somebody else has something that I need to have to make my life more fulfilled, then we’ll always be looking outside of ourselves. And then, once we’re at the end of our lives, or ill somewhere in a hospital, and we have nowhere or can’t go anywhere, we feel lost. But even in those moments, and I believe I haven’t been in that situation, but I believe that with this practice, when I get to that point, I don’t have to feel sorry for myself, I can be celebrating myself to have gotten to this point, come this far, because it’s nobody’s fault. Or, you know, we happen to be where we happen to be, for whatever reason, whatever we’ve done, and so that we got to a point, it’s just to get our eyes open, become more aware. And if we can do this, before we get ill, before something drastic happens in our lives, then we really save our lives, before it actually happens. And that’s what we love to call prevention. And that could be prevented in anything, right? And that’s just prevention, to live a fulfilled life, until the end of your life, because we don’t know when that is, it could be tomorrow, it could be 10 years from now, it could be in 4080 years from now, right? We don’t know. If we’re going moment by moment and not trying to get somewhere at a certain point.

 

26:34

We’re not missing out. Because we’re right where we were supposed to be.

 

26:40

Cuz that’s like my job. Okay, we’re done. All right, move on next. Oh, just kidding. But it’s true. Like, I’m just like, I love this podcast, because it’s always like where I need to be. I feel like this, this podcast, honestly, is divinely guided for all of my listeners and myself.

 

27:04

I just, that’s,

 

27:06

there’s just so much goodness, and there’s so much gold and what you’re saying about that, like being just being like, we are human beings. And we forgot how to be by always focusing on that long term goal and the moment by moment. So if someone was really stressing out, like, okay, I am thinking 10 years in the future, I am just going all out. What is like one thing that they can do since you’re a mindfulness teacher to bring them back into their body into the present moment? What’s something easy?

 

27:42

Well, the easiest thing that I discovered is to be aware of the actions that were taking.

 

27:52

And as simple as the last post that I wrote about, do you scratch that itch?

It’s that simple. Are you aware, when you have an itch that you’re going to scratch, that moment of becoming aware of an itch arising, and not scratching?

How difficult let’s get the thoughts feel good, right? There is a relief relief to like scratching, but we also know, the one time we scratch, we will scratch again.

Right? It’s like, almost guaranteed the same exact spot will come it might even be every single day at the same time, the same place. Like it could be as crazy as that is to just notice what’s arising,

not to react.

 

28:52

Notice it coming, and then be at two seconds. You know, like it doesn’t have to be like until it goes away. Which if you do meditation, if you you know, meditate, you notice that? Okay, that’s technically what you’re supposed to do, right is to notice what arises and not react to it, even if it’s edge to just let it pass by and observe it right. And so the same thing goes with the phone, you have a phone notification comes on.

 

29:24

You notice that like I noticed notification comes on what is arising, there is an urge to pick it up. Why? What is happening, just simple questions. And then with attention, you’re going to open it up or you will decide. I’m okay right now, I don’t think I need it. That will be your next step. But for the beginning, is just really notice.

I’m going to open this phone right now because I wanted to check something because the notification came up. So we starting to get an

Understanding that we are letting our minds our thoughts to manipulate the outcome of our actions.

So that we understand that we can control any actions, that we have a choice to do whatever you want to do in life. And that’s pretty much the most simplest thing to say. And most likely the hardest thing you’ve ever do, because you could use it for drinking, eating all the daily things that you’re doing, to not right away, grab a snack, because your tummy is rumbling. But to realize, Oh, my God, when’s the last time I ate? Or, and I’m just hungry because I’m bored? Or is it hungry, because my tummy is really telling me that I haven’t eaten in a long time. And so these are the things that I’ve learned in this past week. That is really the greatest teaching like before, I would have told you, like, take a few breaths here and there. But this I do believe is the greatest teaching and the one that we can relate to on the every day that we just let pass by, because we’re just doing them. And yeah, that’s pretty much my my tip of the day.

 

31:15

An amazing tip. So where can people find you if they want more tips?

 

31:21

Well, I am on Instagram and Facebook. As of next week, I’m actually doing a more you know, controlled way of posting things. So they’re not just whenever I feel like it. I’ll have themes of the week that was related to what I’ve learned last week as well. So it’s on Instagram and Facebook, it’s mindful being LLC. So the Facebook is just one all in one word. And in on Instagram is mindful that being that LLC, and then my website mindful being llc.com. That’s where they can connect with me also and find more information. I have meditations three times a week, so two evenings and one afternoon Eastern time. Yeah.

 

32:09

And I’ll make sure to get everything in the in the shownotes, obviously, so that people can find you. Because if I mean, at my mind is like I need to be present, I need to be here. And now I need to slow down. I need to know all the things I trained under a former monk. And these weren’t even things that I did in my training. And I was like, wow, that’s like the most deep, profound thing ever. The hardest, easiest thing that I’ll ever do in my life.

 

 

32:36

All the emotions, all the feelings all in one.

 

32:41

Exactly. I mean, one thing I just wanted to add, the why I picked those simple things also in this everyday things is because we can fix something larger, like frustration and anger. We can’t get hold of these little things. And so this is just the first step to get closer to noticing an anger arising and experiencing without being angry. And so that we can start responding to anything in life. Not just the immediate things in our personal life, but also the things that happens in interaction with other people.

 

33:17

I love that. So if somebody walked away with just one little Mic drop Golden Nugget, what would you want them to walk away with?

 

33:26

I guess the biggest thing that I always say it starts with awareness. Change starts with awareness. And the moment we become aware, the moment change can happen.