How imposter syndrome, pivoting, and hiding who I was kept me safe and stuck!

We are going SOLO today!

Today I’m spilling the tea about my struggles with imposter syndrome and how me being the “pivoting queen” is actually a way to hide my gifts from the world!

I’ve been praised over the last year for how easy I pivot when things shift in my life. Although it is a gift I have to be able to flow from one thing to the next, it isn’t always for the best! Most of the time I was deep down, without knowing, doing it out of fear of failing. If I never pushed past uncomfortable, I never had to be successful or fail. 

I have hyper awareness in my situation and for the first time in my life I need to “DO LIFE” instead of “JUST BEING”. For most people, it’s the opposite they need to learn to be and be aware. I need to push and DO the things.  I now know that I can not do it alone and that is why connection, communication, community are so important to me. I am part of a leadership circle, I have aligned business mentors, and I have released those mentors that were just keeping me busy in the busy work on the business.

I’ve leaned into being messy. Taking massive, fast, messy action. And getting clear on what I really want in my life, not what someone else tells me I want with my life. In that clarity and speed, I feel unstoppable.

No more hiding my spiritually, my beliefs in the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. No more hiding my connection to the planet and energy healing. No more being quite like I’ve been told to do all my life. I’m ready to scream from the mountain. 

I AM ME and THAT IS ENOUGH TO BE WORTHY!

Want to check out the entire episode. Listen above! Share with Friends! Leave me a LOVE NOTE in the form of a Review, my heart will be forever grateful. 

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FULL TRANSCRIPTION

Unknown Speaker 0:00
It’s a solo episode time we’re talking about imposter syndrome. Fun play, being silly, talking about my story of launching the perfectly in perfect podcasting, and how pivoting has been my coping mechanism of being seen and that fear of being successful and the fear of failure. Are you ready to dig in.

Unknown Speaker 0:25
You’re listening to feed your body with love with Jenn Dragon at prepare for a tsunami of self love. As we learn how to let go of the ingrained desires to please others fit in and live by society’s standards. It’s time to be proud of who you are, love your present body and awaken your inner magic by being your true authentic self. Let’s dive in.

Unknown Speaker 0:48
I know it’s not often that you hear from me as a solo on the feature body with love podcast, but I really wanted to talk about something today, something that I personally have been struggling with that I know that people that I’ve been working with have been struggling, and it just needs to come out. And that’s imposter syndrome or feeling like not enough, or having to feel like you need more education to show up for your clients. And let’s be real, as long as you are at least one step ahead of somebody, you can turn around, reach back and allow them to move forward. Right? I know for me, as I’m moving through this space and clearing the clutter, because I’m doing a lot of detoxification part of that is because well, every time if you haven’t heard of the food healing Oracle deck, I have been pulling the lines which are detoxification, like nobody’s business, I’m no joke, I pulled them at least 80% of the time, which means detoxing my life. That’s things from detoxing my, you know, the foods and things that I’m putting in my environment, cleaning out my house, and most importantly, detoxifying my business, and my social media, I have been doing all the things. And here’s some complete transparency for you. My business has not been successful financially yet, and I’ve been in business for three years, we have not seen a year in the black, this year, it’s going to change, I have been constantly looking for that magic pill in my diet. And on my diet, you can tell that I love talking about diet, magic pill in my business, just like the diet industry, whether that’s the next guru with this is the next strategy to move you forward. And this is how you have to be successful. I love finding coaches, but what I have learned is that you need to find a coach and a mentor that aligns with you, and you purchase and you want to work with them not out of fear, or worse FOMO. When you get to that countdown, and they’re like, oh, in two, two hours, that’s gonna be another $2,000. So get in now and you have this panic that comes up and it helps you buy. Yeah, that’s a great strategy. But whenever you get in that program, you end up with a ton of self education. And I am working with these two new mentors, Mike and Brandon of the now Academy. And the thing that I am really enjoying about them is that they are making me realize the difference between shelf education, real education, my own worth my own value, it’s taken me a lot of time. And I’m not saying that any of my other previous coaches haven’t done this. For me, I have learned something with every single coaching program, mind, you know, mindset program,

Unknown Speaker 3:39
personal development book, all the different things I have learned and I can take away and move forward. And it allows me a huge range of things that I can give to my clients. And I’m sure that you have the same things in your back pocket. So what I’m talking about here is that you are enough. And in working with them, I realize, okay, all these little pieces of all these different program I’ve taken I can make something amazing. I can, you know, take a time frame and make it shorter, so that you don’t have to go through this three years of struggle. You don’t have to keep buying out of fear. Because if you don’t buy this program, if you don’t do this strategy, if you don’t do that strategy, that your business is never going to be successful. What I am learning is that the business development business strategy is almost like the diet industry. You can call me out for it all you want. But it’s it is every person has their own strategy. Yet we are all unique in how we want to do things. Are there some things that you have to do in business? Yeah, let’s be honest. We have to do our accounting we have to do our taxes in but the rest of it we can decide what we want to do. We can create courses, you can build in any way you want. You can get visible in different ways. You know, I podcasting podcasting for me, has been my lifesaver. Not only has it provided me a way to network and to share other women’s amazing stories and their gifts, but it’s also again, allowed me to be in other people’s markets, other people’s audiences borrowing other people’s audience, sharing, growing, rising up together. There is so much that comes with podcasting. And it’s given me a ton of confidence. Like right now, let’s be honest, I just woke up, I am still in my pajamas. I do not have my bra on yet. I do not have makeup on. I may or may not have fresh my teeth yet. And I’ve almost almost finished my coffee. When I have showed up live doing that. No, but I was inspired. And then not only that this episode is going to be relevant in more than a year. As long as you go out there and you strategize, right, again, a striking finding a strategy that works for me, I love podcasting, because it’s, it’s basically like an evergreen content. Because I can refer back to this this episode. as time moves on. This is something that you don’t get with social media most of the time because you you launch and you hope that somebody sees it. You know, you have to post so many times a day so that you’re constantly showing up for people. And then all of a sudden, that’s irrelevant. We’re in podcast land, I can keep referring people back to this, I can build a bog behind it. I can SEO, so search engine optimize it, I can do all these different things. So I’m allowed to show up confidently share my voice, put my voice to a microphone and spread it around the world in a manner that keeps going. Yes, sometimes that’s a slow growth. But you know what I’ll take slow and steady over the sprint. You know, that turtle and the hare comes to mind like the you know, the hare gets so far ahead and the rabbits like I’m just gonna take a nap here where the tortoise just keeps on moving and keeps on moving and keeps on moving and keeps on moving. And who wins tortoise, I’ll take slow and steady any day. So when we go into imposter syndrome, so as I am growing, I personally come across this all the time. In January, I launched the perfectly in perfect podcasting program. It was wildly successful. I was like, Okay, here’s my idea. I want for women to join me. And within from idea to the for people joining me and paying to be in my program. It was 72 hours. Is that normal? No. But what happened to me as soon as I got those women through the program, I was afraid to launch it again. imposter syndrome set in like hey, my podcast, this podcast feed your body with love. Yeah, we ranked number 52 in the self love podcast last year, but we don’t have a huge listenership. And I got stuck in that vanity metrics. The I need so many downloads, I need this. And part of that is because when you ask for guests, they want to know that and there are people that turned me down all the time, because we don’t have a huge listenership. But what we do have is a community of people who are downloading who are listening to every episode, who listened to the entire episode, I would rather have a small community of people that are enjoying these episodes that engage and come in. And that’s why this year, I am really working on building out the feature body with love community. Yes, it’s a Facebook community, if you want to join, I will definitely put the link in the bottom. But we’re going to build up the space because I want to create a space a container for women to come in and start to find themselves. Because when we struggle with imposter syndrome, like I just did, I was like, I don’t know enough, I need to join all these programs. And let me tell you, I joined like 10 different podcast programs. And I got overwhelmed and I did exactly what I was teaching my ladies not to do, which was to enroll in all the different programs, look at all the different strategies get caught up in all the different things and let overwhelm. You know what happens, you get overwhelmed. You get stuck in the busy work and your idea. Your clients, they never get served your ideas. Don’t get out there because you are so busy being busy, you can’t do the damn thing. And that’s a problem. So know that you are enough. As long as you have made one step forward. There’s somebody that is still one step behind you that you can turn around, reach your handout and say, Hey, come with me. Let’s go to this next step. So again, when you’re looking for coaches are your coaches one step ahead of you, are they 10 steps ahead of you 50 steps ahead of you 100 steps ahead of you. I know for me that when I started hiring people that were you know, 100 steps ahead of me, I get lost, because at that point, I lost touch with that they lose you tend to lose touch with that beginning point. Not saying But it was bad, their strategies were still good. But it immediately as soon as I stepped into those programs, I was like, holy crap, slow down, this is overwhelming. I am not there yet. And when I started hiring people that were maybe five to 10 steps ahead of me, I was actually moving forward. But at a certain point, you know, for me, I’ve built friendships with these people that are, you know, were five or 10 steps ahead of me.

Unknown Speaker 10:26
And I felt very guilty leaving their spaces and leaving their communities. Because, again, I’m a friend, and I was worried about them, not being friends with me still not being able to connect with them still. And then I had to start to think like, Okay, well, if I leave their space, and I stopped paying them, and we’re not friends, were we really friends in the first place, where we really have just acquaintances like, how does this work. So you’ve got to start thinking for yourself and thinking about yourself, and it is not a bad thing to be selfish, it’s not a bad thing that you grew out of a community that you’ve been paying for, it’s not a bad thing to move on, and to lose contact with some of your previous coaches, some of your previous mentors, you know, if it’s meant to be, it will be, but if they’re only going to be in your space, because you’re paying them to, you know, to serve you, then that’s not a real friendship, that’s, that’s definitely a business relationship. Those people that you hang on to afterwards, those are your true connections. And that’s what I want to create in the community in the feed your body with love community is that true connection with other human beings. 2020 has taught me a lot about connection, and how connection is everything. If you cannot connect with others, if you cannot connect with your ideal client, if you cannot connect with your business, if you cannot connect with your purpose, if you cannot connect with your body, if you cannot connect with your food, okay, you get where I’m going with this. If you don’t have that form of connection, you don’t have anything, you don’t have that ability to move forward. There is the other flip side that if you connect to the wrong belief, if you connect to the wrong stories that you keep telling yourself over that imposter syndrome, that I’m not worthy, the I’m not good enough, I need more education. Guess what, there are so many really successful people out there. And again, this will be your own definition of success, but that have the money to make the impact. And it is not bad to want to charge for your services. It is not bad to want to make a ton of money. And yes, I’m saying this out loud. Because this is a story that I struggle with that having money is bad, that having money is evil, that having money will make me a bad person. Having money will make me the snob that having money will make me all these things that I don’t want to be. But here’s the absolute honest truth. I want to make a lot of money for two reasons. One is the definite selfish thing. I want to have some nicer luxuries in life. I would love to be able to get back into flying again. I miss flying. Yes, I am a private pilot. But I’m not current. Because right now, renting an airplane is not in the budget or in my desire level, that it’s worth it. Yes, I could probably afford to go do it right now. So it’s not that I can’t afford it. I am choosing to put my money into another spot. There’s a money mindset change is that I’m choosing where to put my money. It isn’t that I can’t do it. But I’d like to have enough where it feels comfortable to say, Hey, I’m going to go rent a plane and go get a $400 burger, because that’s honestly about what it would cost to fly round trip, get a burger and then fly back. You know? Yes, there’s those selfish pieces. But the biggest part is I really would love to have a horse rescue in our area in Sonoma County, California. I want enough acreage where I can rescue a lot of horses. And during that recovery time for those horses to learn to trust humans, I want a wellness center on it. And in that Wellness Center, I want to offer all sorts of services to help others heal. I would love to have a giant garden where I can have a farm stand and the plethora of it I can give back to our homeless or less fortunate community. Because there’s one of the things that just drives me crazy. And that’s a lot of what is provided and what is affordable to people that don’t have extra funds to feed themselves. Eating all these chemicals and all of these other things. I want to give an organic option to those people in the community to be able to purchase quality food for a lower budget based you know on need and no proof needs. Don’t just come and you know, pay what you can. That’s what I really want. So I want to have that horse rescue rescue horses, let’s be honest, there’ll be a lot of rescue dogs there too.

Unknown Speaker 15:12
And I want to have the farm stand that the community can come to. And if people need support, they can get food that is quality food, because food is tied to so many things, including mental health, and longevity. And there’s just so many things like I could go on that tangent forever about our food industry and the food that is in there. But I’m not gonna that’s not for right now. You know, and I also want the Wellness Center that can provide different services, yes, paid, and maybe sliding scale for mental health, physical health, yoga, meditation, reiki, all of the different things all in one. And of course, there will be equine therapy, because something is magical, like Winston Churchill said, the outside of a horse is good for the inside of man, there is something magical about horse therapy and working around horses. And being around horses, I am fortunate enough that I can do that, because of my best friend, she allows me that space every week to get that outside of the horse therapy. And I think that it would be an amazing, I know that it would be an amazing blend to be able to rescue horses that have come out of abuse or some sort of situation, and have people working with trauma. So the horses are learning to trust humans again. And humans are learning to trust horses and themselves. Horses can teach you so much. So having money for me isn’t like fully selfish. Yeah, there are some very selfish things I want. But I want to give back, I want to be able to donate there’s so much of my income that I want to use to give back. And I didn’t realize how much I wanted to give back until I started working with my new mentors. And I went with them because they are, you know, 10 steps ahead. And I did leave communities that were, you know, status quo with me. And that’s fine. And I still have friends and I’ve made networks. So it’s time for you to like, look at what you really have. It’s time for you to look at what you’re doing, and how far you’ve come and your story. Your story is so powerful. This podcast proves that. You know my story of this going through for the last three years and launching things and having them be mildly successful and then immediately stopping and pivoting. Yeah, everybody celebrates me for being the pivoting queen. But you know what, that was a strategy for me to stay small. That was a strategy for me to stay hidden. And, you know, I love being real and honest here. Being small and being hidden, is something that I i’ve strived for, not on purpose, but because of past traumas, because every time I stood up and said, Hey, this is going on in my life, I’ve been laughed off the stage, basically, the stage of life. You know, I take when I’m was 10 years old, I went to a Christian camp with my friend. And I accepted Jesus into my heart on Wednesday, with a camp counselor and a pastor. We sat down and I accepted him and I was so excited. So excited. I came home and told my family like hey, I found Jesus on Wednesday because that was how I felt that was what I felt like was was part of my thing. I’m getting emotional just talking about it. And the reaction is you found Jesus on Wednesday. Haha, there was a joke about it. It was joking. And then as I grew older, I ended up back after leaving a public school I went into a private Seventh Day Adventist school and I got baptized. And during that baptism, they were they treated my family like outcasts because they didn’t have the same beliefs. When they found out that I was going to a different church instead of the church that I was baptized in because I want to be baptized, baptized by my youth pastor that was at my school. They treated me like an outcast. And you know, there’s just a whole bunch of different things that went against me and I obviously I’m choked up while I’m talking to you, which is why my voice has changed. I have tears in my eyes.

Unknown Speaker 19:40
But then I hid and I hid parts of myself that really needed to be shown I hid parts of who I was because I didn’t feel like enough. I hid I hid and pivoting was a great way to hide because I could go in I mean, last year I released the art of relief There were so many people that showed up to the those classes of painting with your eyes closed, letting go of perfectionism leaning in, and I got so much amazing feedback, the testimonials are amazing. But you know what happened, I got scared because I started being seen. So I pivoted. And maybe this is part of your story too, which is why I’m willing to share these things. So just remember, if you are one step before someone, you are enough to be a coach, you are enough to inspire someone to move forward. Just know you won’t be for everyone. And that’s okay. Because my tribe is not everybody. That’s why I have the feed your body with love podcast and have so many different interviews on there. Because I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, thank goodness, because I was everyone’s cup of tea, I would never have time for myself. And I want time for myself. Again, remember, I want to go have my $400 burger. So just know that you can help them and when imposter syndrome sets in, it’s a great time to have a coach, I would never have moved this far forward without mentors without the support of friends without the support of, you know, family or whatever. Sometimes we don’t have family to rely on. But without my business besties without my mentors, there’s no way I would have moved to where I am right now. It’s important, it’s about connection and connection is the best thing for you. If you are ready to learn more detoxify your life, or maybe you’re just not feeling confident, and you’re ready to find your voice. Come into the feature body with love community, we’re there for you. Yeah, we talked about all the different things, all the different things about self love, you know, and self love brings up confidence. And like I said, for me, podcasting has been the biggest confidence builder ever. And it’s not as hard as you think. Let me tell you, once you let go of the noise of everyone else’s strategy, aka, the dieting, of how to podcast and you make it your own. It’s just amazing. I love it. Mike, my clients have loved it. The people that have worked with me, the people that I’ve inspired to find their true calling. Don’t be someone else’s version of you be your own version of you because you are enough. You know, being weird, being silly, being playful, having fun. If those aren’t words that are in your life every day, we need to talk because you need more fun play silly in there. You know that just every day, it reminds me my niece and nephew were over the other day. And I let them put wet chalk all over my face and stuff like this. And they put it all over their face. And my niece looked at me and she goes, Oh my goodness. Titi I feel like I’m five. It’s so fun. It’s so silly. And my heart was so full on that moment was so full because it reminds me that even as a kid, sometimes we feel like we have to grow up too fast. And we don’t. So be fun, be weird, be silly. And get out there and be perfectly imperfect. I love you and make today amazing, because it’s a choice and you deserve it. You are worthy of whatever idea and whatever dream you have. So take that first step and get your message out there. Get your story out there. And be amazing because you are amazing. You are worthy. And I love you. This episode was brought to you by the food healing Oracle deck. And today’s card I pulled almonds as a collective. So the healing wisdom of almonds is it’s crunch time. So listen up. You hold the power in each moment. Yes, you do. You are a powerful being of light that has arrived on the planet earth to utilize your power to grow and evolve. your soul’s directive is to tap into your infinite source of internal energy and draw up into your powerful being. By the way, don’t let anyone try and take your power. Anyways, own it. It’s yours. And how perfect is that for this episode. If you would like to learn more about the food healing Oracle deck, check out the show notes because it is an absolutely amazing way to tap into food, Mother Earth and get amazing beautiful healing and practical.

Unknown Speaker 24:14
Thanks for listening to feed your body with love with Jenn Dragon net. If you’d like to support the show and spread the love, leave a five star review and share with your friends to spread some serious self love. For more information and to get in touch with Jen visit feed your body with love.com until next time, make today amazing